The Inside Out 

“Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end” -John Lennon

I’ve always been one to believe everything in life happens for a reason, good and bad. I won’t lie, I’ve been hit with a couple hardships throughout my life. I’m not complaining about anything because everything made me into the person I am today. I’m just here to tell you guys that whatever you’re going through, it’s going to be alright.

I’m one of those people that like to keep the things going wrong in life to myself. Why? It’s embarrassing. For people to know I’m even going through anything emotionally just makes me feel weak along with my inability to trust people and their intentions if I did tell them what was going on. After watching the show “Thirteen Reasons Why”, I think it’s really important to tell people when you’re feeling down and when things get to you. Why? Because you never know what someone is going through even though their actions portray something totally different. When I was sixteen, I tried to swallow a bottle of pills in the bathroom of my bedroom in my apartment because I felt like a piece of shit and my only answer was to just end my life. Between always getting in trouble with my mom and the kids at school who hated me for sticking up for someone, I was just over it. Luckily for me, I threw that bottle of pills up a couple of minutes later. Let’s fast forward to my problems in 2017. A couple of months ago, I thought I was “investing” a lot of money in what was actually a Ponzi scheme and ended up losing over half of that money. Along with my phone getting stolen in Ireland and having to buy a new one, all of my doctor and dentist appointments while I was home in January, paying my American bills while still living in Kuwait, paying for things for people who have yet to pay me back, overdoing gifts for people and still funding my business, I’ve been hit pretty hard with financial stuff this year. Along with the financial punch in the face, one of my mentors and a good friend passed away a couple of weeks ago. I wouldn’t say the last six months have been what they call “easy” but I’ve been pretty optimistic considering the circumstances.

What’s different now that was different when I was sixteen?  For starters, I’ve isolated myself from a lot of people who I’ve realized only talk to me when they want something. Getting rid of people who deem themselves unnecessary has really helped me stay positive this year. Alongside isolating people, I have been working on building my relationships with the people who have continuously proven to me that they belong in my life. Without getting into too many details, the people who are willing to help you when you have absolutely nothing, are the ones you should keep in your life. Secondly, a really good friend bought me a scripture book. Every day has its own message and scripture, it’s really helped me see the big picture. I’ve learned God doesn’t put you through situations you can’t handle, and prayer really does work no matter what religion you are. Finally, I’ve mentioned before in a few of my blog posts that life should not be taken for granted because it’s short. As you get older, you realize how quickly life can end. No matter what you’re going through suicide and violence are just not the answer.

Like I said earlier, I’m just here to tell you it’s all going to be alright. A couple of weeks ago when my bank account said zero, I’ve never felt more ashamed and embarrassed than I did at that time. That’s life though. You hit road blocks and you take a different route if the first one doesn’t take you to that final destination. I share things like this so the rest of you realize that you’re not alone in this thing called life, and if you feel alone, shit, message me and I’ll talk to you. It’s okay to feel vulnerable, it’s alright to feel like the weight is on your shoulders sometimes and it’s alright to tell people you’re upset about something because we’re only human. When you’re going through something, just remember there are plenty of people going through way worse things in life. When you’re judging someone for something their doing, just remember you have no idea what that person is going through mentally. Be nice to someone, smile at them and give them a high five, ask someone how their day is going and just tell a stranger everything will be alright. A nice gesture goes a long way. Until my next post, inshalla.

9 thoughts on “The Inside Out 

  1. Tia,
    Your words continue to inspire and to uplift and I can honestly say we all benefit from the life experiences you share; even if they are painful for you to recount. The post you shared brought to memory an award acceptance speech from Denzel Washington that has stuck with me since the day I first saw it earlier this year. I’ll paste the link below and I hope you’ll take a minute to watch it. Words seem to be more powerful coming from someone as inspirational as he is. But, if you can’t get around to watching it, I hope you’ll find some measure of inspiration and motivation, as I do, from his words:
    “Ease is a greater threat to progress than hardship.”

    He goes on to stress that it’s not important how many times you fall down in life. What’s important is how many times you get back up. You shared so much in this post and if anything, it has shown us that what defines you is not how many times you’ve been knocked down in your life, but how many times you’ve stood back up and continued to kick ass. No doubt – your recent trials and tribulations have knocked you down Tia. But we all know how you roll, and we know that you’re gonna get right back up, dust yourself off, smile, and tell life “You hit like a bitch.” Keep doing your thing Tia!

  2. Keep pushing and doing you. Congrats on the clothing line. Keep growing and when you stumble keep going. This was a wonderful read.

  3. I love you Tia. I always have and I always will. That is a promise.

    Grandma \\\^..^///

  4. Another great post Tia, thanks for sharing! I love your plain-stated honesty! It’s obvious you’re writing from the heart and I hope you’re finding the freedom it sounds like you’re reaching for through these posts. #ProudOfYou #TiaRocks #HugsFromAZ 💜💜💜

  5. I had to read this again. Getting to know you has been awesome and I love how you smile through it all. It is good that you put this out here because you are an amazing person and you will continue to shine all the way through.

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